Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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