I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
be right there i have to get my cape
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
