Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
