you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
