I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's blow job season.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
