I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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