Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
