I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
