Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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