There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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