Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
