can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
