batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
