I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
