My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
