Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
