You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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