I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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