Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
