I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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