you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
