did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
