well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
