I just made out with a guy for $7.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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