I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
