That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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