I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
