her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
