I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
