i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
