I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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