Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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