I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
