you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
