I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
