I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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