your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
