tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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