i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
