I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
