Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
