shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
