Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize