So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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