Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
