he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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