Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize