it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
