I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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