Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
