All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
