oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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