Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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