I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
