My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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