haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
