i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
