You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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