I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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