he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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