i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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