How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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