I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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