no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
