What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize