so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
