you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
