doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
