no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize