If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
