i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
