oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
