whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
