I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
