Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
