I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
